GUIDE TO COLLEGE MAJORS

Anthropology: We’re all the same species. We do some stuff different. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

Physics: If you drop it, it falls. Everything is both very big and very small. Also cat. Not cat.

Business: You need stuff. I need stuff. Some stuff is heavy and hard to make. So here’s money.

Political science: Not science. People. Mostly slightly disappointed people.

Liberal arts: Everything is both complicated and interesting. Be curious.

Philosophy: You might be right. You might be wrong. You’ll never really know why.

International Affairs: Try to understand one another. Love not war. Fail to love: war.

Engineering: so stuff doesn’t fall down or apart. Keeping it all upright and the air.

Biology: Know your parts. Also plants and animals. Includes you.

Archeology: Rocks and bones. Period.

Psychology: I’m special. You’re special. I’m extra special.

Sociology: You’re not special but your group is. Group think. Group do.

Social Work: I feel you. Systemically. Intersectionally.

Math: Counting forever.